Focus on your career, focus on your studies, focus on your relationships, focus on your diet.

I lack initiative in all of these things, I always have, I've made it through because when I was young I liked going to the library and reading books, because God has blessed me with good social determinants: housing, loving family, headphones, the rest.

Know that what is crooked cannot be made straight, that you have to free your mind, that whatever you feel is nothing compared to God's heartbreak.

Christ on the cross, seconds away from death, looks out at those who are calling for his death, looks out at hate, looks out at the mob and says "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Forgive me. I do not know what I am doing.


Those who are fighting to win the respect of cannons firing need deliverance more than anyone else.


Excerpt from The Lighthouse on the Desk by Mini Ishikawa as translated by Motoyuki Shibata and Ted Goossen

So this is the fishhook they speak of!
I swallow it and the sea,
The sea is stripped from my body




Watching the news, taking some pills, changing your mind.

I try talking to someone about how big big pharma is and he says 'what are you doing to change' and I said 'being vocal about it'. I don't believe my answer does anything. And he believes this too, he says 'I don't think being vocal does much.'

He's right!


They moved to Christopher Columbus' new World right before school started (so August). Yes, it made it harder for the kids to transition, but it also meant they were allowed to spend more time at home.

And now this, this is their new home. She feels the sun, heating her skin, but it's not the same.

What goes through the mind of immigrant parents? Do they know what they are taking on? Did my parents know?

Now that she is older, she used to be young.

She looks forward to Friday evenings. There is a church program that her kids attend. It gives her some more breathing space for those few hours.

What goes through the mind of immigrant kids? Do they know what they are taking on? Did my parents know? I'm glad we left India.

The new kid in the group, another immigrant child, makes fun of her son. Mother doesn't know this. One of the adults supervising, another immigrant child, stands up for her. Mother doesn't know this.

And so we don't know what is happening, what's going to happen, what's happening behind closed doors or open doors.

Can you feel the sun on your skin? Is this home? Even if you don't know, your soul does.

Winter is coming. We all put on layers. We protect ourselves from the cold. We huddle together and talk about how wrong other people are.


When I go up to the back of the restaurant to pay for our meal, the waitresses and staff are watching my head closely. I still have long, thin, needles in my head from my acupuncture appointment.

They're Korean, and there's a bit of a language barrier. But I do my best to answer their questions. They're smilng and I'm smiling, it's a nice, short, conversation.

We left the restaurant through the back. We passed a tent that's right behind the restaurant, and this is where the cool adults hang out, who know that eating in the tent versus inside the building makes them cooler and better than us. I'll be eating there one day, soon.


It’s Spring so it’s moist and there are worms doing worm things on the branches and leaves of the tree. To get to the church, we must walk by this tree. When it’s trimmed it’s boring, but when it’s not, life is a game and we do our best to avoid making contact, to make it through on the other side, clean church clothes and all.

This is the one of my best memories, it’s one of my favourite things.


sweetums heartums
nexus sticker
choking on an apple
lecture hall
lecture break
Tim Horton's
Being difficult
Sandwich at Pho place
1 AM
2 AM
3 AM
2 AM
Tim Horton's
street food
best food ever
food that will never be forotten
really the best food ever
white kurtha
praying together
Kim's news! Big news!
Gutsy walk
Union news
Long days
Dil se
Jungle book
Tea party
Acha tho
Best summer I've had
1 year
Youth group
Parts of our story


I object. (also)
I, object. (also)
I = object.


"The city never jumpstarts the day; it slowly stretches itself awake. It rolls under the blanket, drinks cups and cups of tea, contemplates.

Then finally leaves the bed, not without a little reluctance." from Corridor, Sarnath Banerjee.


In the shadows, shade
In the shadows, shadows

Jeremiah 11:16-17

The Lord called you a thriving olive tree
with fruit beautiful in form.
But with the roar of a mighty storm
he will set it on fire
and its branches will be broken.
The Lord Almighty, who planted you,
has decreed disaster for you,
because the people of both Israel and Judah
have done evil and aroused my anger by burning incense to Baal.

roar of the storm
fire without water
burning earth unquenched


From psych and law to fishing on a boat.


Psalm 61
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Of David.

1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
4 I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
5 For you, God, have heard my vows;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.
6 Increase the days of the king’s life,
his years for many generations.
7 May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever;
appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.
8 Then I will ever sing in praise of your name
and fulfill my vows day after day.


At the foot of the mall, the doors are open.
At the foot of the mall, the Devil says you can fill in the
holes in your heart.
At the foot of the mall, your heart will leap for joy!
At the foot of ma-aaalll
At the foot of the ma-aaalll

We all are unequal at the foot of the mall
The ground is not level at the foot of the mall.
I can't afford what you can at the foot of the ma-allll
The hole in your heart gets deeper, at the foot of the ma-aalllll

The Prince of Darkness likes to see people in debt
He gives high-interest loans to people who can't pay hiim bacck
In the end, he wants to see them homeless and hurt
He calls you into idolatory, at the foot of the maa-aaaallll

At the foot of the maa-aaaallllll
At the foot of the ma-aall
At the foot of the mall.


Advertising, feed me.
Advertising, feed me.
Advertising, feed me.
Follow me on my daily commute,
In my phone, on billboards, through word of mouth.

Advertising, feed me.
Advertising, feed me.
Advertising, feed me.
I want to be told what I want in this life.
I want to be filled with desires

Advertising, feed me.
Advertising, feed me.
Advertising, feed me.
Bring me one step closer to the stars
To make me want the shoes I can't afford

Facebook analytics, follow me.
Facebook analytics, follow me.
Facebook analytics, follow me.
So you can guesstimate what it is I could want
So you can guesstimate what it is I could want
So you can guessstimaaatee,
whaatt itt isss
I couldd waaaaant.


Technology, blind me
Technology, blind me
Technology, blind me
Such that I look away from the Sun into my phone
Such that I look away from the Sun into my phone

Technology, bind me
Technology, bind me
Technology, bind me
So that I look away from the Son into my phone
So that I look away from the Son into my phone


"The message in Hebrews is full of warnings. Do not harden your heart; do not fall away; do not be guilty of unbelief; do not carry on sinning and do not miss the provision of God. The Christian life is lived in utter dependence and trust in God, which the Israelites fell away from again and again. Instead of entering the full sufficiency and rest of God, they wandered the desert for 40 years. Hebrews 3:10-11 records God’s judgment. “That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.’ So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’” Tragically, theirs was a dead end journey that died in the wilderness."


sweetums out catching pokemon.

today's sushi place was really good. very good decision. no side effects.

why has your sense of humour become worse over time? it wasn't this bad when you had long hair.

because you laugh at all those jokes sweetums! all of them.


on my way home the traffic slowed to a crawl. saw police and a firetruck up ahead on the highway. passing by, i saw wreckage. two cars, one at the high one several meters off road. police taking photos and surveying the scene.

relevant because

remember the day it was raining really bad and there was thunder and lighting on the highway. it was dark. heavy hearts. bad visibility.

that night could have ended so many ways.

grateful to God it ended the way it did. that our relationship is where it is, alive and growing.


Great movie.
Watch it.


got out of the car
breeze, wind

up the small hill
breeze, wind

on a small hill
peck on a cheek

tears, storm

peace of mind


Great movie.

Schneider vs. Bax


Great movie.


Nothing was hacked.
Hours were earned.


Before id, I know me
A simple no me
A gno-me

Take a walk, take a rest.
Taste the rest.


Party in the party city
Plastic in the plastic city
Plastic party

Plastic is really bad tho.
Plastic as poison.

Another one
They don't want me to have an anthem, so I made sure we got another anthem.


IKEA machines were down.



When I was young and there used to be a solar eclipse, we would place water in a bowl and look at its reflection, and we’d look into the night sky. Nowadays there is no excitement for these things.